What I was Thinking when Gatsby and Tom were Fighting….

When we walked into the room, I was nervous because I knew that there was tension between Tom and Gatsby. Tom knew that Gatsby was in love with me. He could feel the love between us. I was scared of what was going to happen. I knew that Tom had not been faithful. He had other women so I did not know why I was still with him. It did not make sense. As Gatsby stared at me, Tom started to say things like “What is going on here?” Tom and Gatsby then began to start yelling and fighting. Tom then started to question what work Gatsby was in and how he earned his money. Gatsby then began to get very angry like I had never seen him before. He raised his arm like he was going to bunch Tom but, then calmed himself. I was so afraid of what to do so I ran. I wanted to avoid the situation as much as I could. I needed to go home and I wanted to be alone. I was more confused than ever. I had never seen Gatsby like that. Tom was trying to show me a point by getting under his skin. It just showed sides to them that I had not seen before.

What I was feeling as I was Driving Home....

After Tom and Gatsby got into their argument, I felt so anxious. I did not know what to do. On one hand, Tom had been my husband for five years. We had kids together and it was what I was used to. I was afraid of change. But then on the other hand, Gatsby had always been the one that I wanted. I knew I had to choose what I wanted and I was having a hard time because I was afraid to lose the life I had with Tom but at the same time Gatsby had been the one that I had wanted and should have waited for. I felt so confused, lost, and in some ways I felt alone. I did not want to pick the wrong choice. My mind was all over the place and I was driving too quickly. Before I could stop, a women came running towards my car. I did not have enough time to stop. I had a vivid memory of the look on that poor women’s face as she flew over my car. I was in so much shock and I was afraid that I could not stop. I had to keep going because I was afraid of what I had done. Gatsby was trying to comfort me as much as he could, but I was a mess. I was afraid of what I had done and what kind of person I had seemed to become.

Why I did not go to Gatsby's Funeral....

Hearing that Gatsby died broke my heart. He was the one I truly wanted, but he scared me because he was asking too much from me. I was stressed due to the yelling that had happened between Tom and Gatsby. Gatsby did get violent and it intimated me. I did not know how to handle myself or what to do. I was afraid to leave the rich life I had and Tom made me scared. Nick kept calling me informing me when the funeral was. I could not go because of mainly Tom. He kept me on close watch and wanted to go on vacation for a while. He did not let me answer the phone and had our workers say that I was unavailable. People would leave messages but, I would never get them. He coincidentally scheduled us to leave the day of the funeral so I could not attend. Yes, I felt bad about not going but a part of me needed to move on. Tom wanted to work on our marriage and us. I agreed with him. We have our family and right now I feel like it is best to focus on that. I did feel bad leaving Nick alone so I did apologize once I heard from him again. Nick seemed to be having a hard time after Gatsby’s death. I wanted to have Nick back in our life. I needed to talk to him about everything and explain myself.

What I was Feeling....

When Nick asked me to come over, I was excited to see my favorite cousin. Whenever I see Nick, it brings me much joy. When I saw his house I thought it was very cute. It was a small cottage like home but, it suited Nick well. When I walked inside, it smelled fresh cut flowers. As I looked around, there were beautiful flowers everywhere. The table was decorated beautifully and I was so impressed by Nick. As I was talking to Nick, a handsome man appeared from the corner of my eye. As I observed him more I realized I had seen this man before. It was Jay Gatsby. At first, I did not know what to say. I was shocked. It had been five years since I had seen him. Seeing him brought back many memories and emotions that I thought I had left in the past. I wanted to hear all of his stories about the war and what his life has been up to. I could not help but stare at him. Once we began to talk, I was so intrigued. I forgot how funny and how much I enjoyed myself when I was around him. He was so nice to me and in that moment I knew that I should have waited for him. He was my true love and I knew he was the one for me.  

Why I.....

The day I went into Jay Gatsby’s home I felt so many emotions. I was intrigued, excited, nervous, but mostly afraid of how my feelings would change between us. He first showed me the big piano and got a man to play us a song so we could dance just like we did five years ago. That brought me back to so many flash backs of us slow dancing like we had used to do. Then we brought me into his closet. It was huge and beautiful just like the rest of his house was. He had it filled with wonderful and richly made clothing. They were all the colors of the rainbow. Jay was being his goofy and fun self and began to through the shirts around on me and throughout the room. In that moment, I had realized what I could have had and what I had missed out on by marrying Tom. I then began to get emotional and started to cry. I had made the mistake and I knew I should have waited for him. As Jay Gatsby comforted me, I wanted to tell him I had made a mistake, but I could not do that. I had to make up a lie. I then told him that all of the brightly colored shirts had made me cry. He knew that it was not true, but he comforted me and cared for me like he always did. Jay Gatsby had always loved me and in that moment I finally realized that I did to.

What I was Thinking....

When I met Jay Gatsby for the first time, it was love at first. I knew he was the one for me because the way he looked at me with his big blue eyes. Being young and dumb, when he left I felt alone and did what I thought any women should do. I missed Jay Gatsby, dearly and the thought of us not being together broke my heart. The day I married Tom, I knew right then that I should have waited for him. I did what I thought was best and I wanted to be with someone that I thought my parents would approve of. They taught me that young girls do not marry poor boys so I knew that Tom meet there standards. While reading the letter, everything you had said I did not want to marry Tom. I knew I did not, but for some reason I got up and said I do to the one that I did not truly love. When I entered Nick’s beautiful home and saw him all of my feelings just started to come rushing back. We had such a deep conversation that I did not even realize the weather had changed or even got to fully admire the flowers around me. All I could think about was Gatsby and time in which we had spent a part. It was lost time that we needed to make up. I missed Gatsby and knew I was in love with him.